Today is mother’s day. We honor our mother’s in a variety of ways on this day. We give them flowers, make a meal, tell them how much we love them, and do other such things. All of these are signs that we are especially thankful for the life that our moms have given to us. If you ask me, I think everyday should be mother’s day.
Today’s Gospel, Jesus reminds us that we are to remain in His love. His commandment to us is to love. From the beginning of tradition or our faith, we have seen the mother’s love for her child as the most earthly example of unconditional love. Think about the palmist that says, “Though a mother forsake her child, I will not abandon you.” It is saying that even if an earthly example of love fails and we can think of some examples in today’s age, that the love of God will never fail. It will always be there for us. So mother’s give us an example of unconditional love and therefore shows us God. Remember the second reading that says, “God is love.” Indeed He is! Where love is, He is.
Several years ago, I was called to the hospital late at night to baptize a premature baby. The baby was born only after spending a little more than 23 weeks in his mother’s womb. The baby’s chances were slim. The mother, who was a doctor, knew that at this early age the skin was so tender that there was a risk of infection from touch. Yet, the doctor’s instructed her that she had to touch the child. Without her touch, the baby would surely die. The baby actually lived and continues to thrive today. This is not just for sick babies but for all babies, they need the touch of a human being and especially the mother to survive. Why? I would like to see the touch as physical sign of love. Remember, we are made in the image and likeness of God. God is love. Therefore at the foundation of the human person, we need love. Touch is the only way to communicate love at such an early age. Without love and especially the mother’s love, some part of us or all of us would die.
In current society, we have a tendency to make supermoms.
To be the perfect mom,one has to work 40 hours a week, cook the meals, clean the house, take the children to baseball practice, to school, to boyscout camp, and to piano recital. Moms have to be there to comfort and to discipline. There is an ideal that is unattainable. Its almost as if there is a fear that we can never be a good enough mom and so we add more activity and more events to our schedule. I guess I don’t know what it would be like to be a mom! :> Anyhow, all these things are occurring that makes moms doubt who they are and then, a news blast like the one we just heard this past week puts salt in the sore.
Are you mom enough? On the front cover of Time Magazine, there was a model who was breastfeeding her 3.5 year old son. It is almost pornographic in nature, not because it arouses a sexual response but because it reveals something that is intimate and meant for just a few to share. This question, Are you mom enough, strikes at the very heart of every mom. It tries to tell women that if you aren’t breastfeeding until the child is 5 then there is something wrong with you. We shall see that this is the farthest thing from the truth.
I would like for you to imagine what a personification of motherhood is. Imagine an artistic depiction of motherhood. What would it look like? For me, I can imagine a mother who is 6-8 months pregnant with her hands over her womb, and she is looking tenderly down in reflection. This image is strikingly similar to the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Why do I like this image? In this image, the mother is one with her child. She marvels at the gift of creation that God had made through her yes. She is in awe of this life that swims around inside of her. She is not doing anything that makes her supermom. She is mom and that is what makes her super. It is not in her doing that makes her mother but in her being. She is mom and that is enough. This is the message of such an image.
Soon, separation from the child will begin and with each separation there will be sacrifice. She will give birth to the child and will nurse him at her breast. Soon the babe will no longer nurse, but she can hold him in her arms. Then, the child begins to run, speak and learn, yet comes to mom to be secure. The child goes to school but still looks up to his mom. Eventually, the child leaves home. All along the way, there is the sacrifice of what was as the separation occurs but mom will always be mom, because it is not in what she does but who she is. Regardless on what stage with this is mind, she will be able to say to the question, “Are you Mom, enough.” Yes, because I am mom.
We have a number of great images of motherhood in Holy Scriptures. Of course, the preeminent model of motherhood is Mary, the blessed Mother. She said yes to life and to God’s plan. She looked to the source of life for strength and always reflected and marveled about how God would give her His Son. Now, I know what you are saying, “Father Jason, come on Mary gave birth to the Son of God, she doesn’t have to mother this child.” That’s true but I sure would not want to have the responsibility of raising God’s son either! Throughout her life she began to practice the difficult sacrifice of separation which culminated in her holding her son in her arms. She held all these things in her heart as if to have an interior knowledge of the soon to be Resurrection. Mary as mother knew the life she was given had been given to her by God and she kept her gaze in God in the midst of the sufferings of separation. She is mom sure enough.
Practically speaking, I would like to offer the mothers here four practical habits that they can implore that will help them stave off the pain of never living up to an impossible ideal and to keep your focus on the dignity of which God has given you. These are not mine since I dont know what its like to be a mom but they come from Dr. Meg Meeker who wrote 10 healthy habits of motherhood. Dr. Meg Meeker has great insight into the subconscious of mothers. I have chosen four that I think are important.
First, you are to value your motherhood. Much of what I have spoken of already moves us towards understanding the great dignity that womanhood and motherhood behold. I say as well that if you are not a physical mother, that you can still exercise your motherhood in a spiritual and/or emotional way. In this sense, all women are called to motherhood. I would like to speak to the men now. You men have to help the ladies in your life to understand the dignity of their motherhood. When they get caught up in trying to be supermom instead of being mom, you are there to remind them. You also remind them when you honor their womanhood. You help them when you respect their bodies and their gift of being mother. You honor them when you remain chaste for them, when you choose to remain faithful, and when you seek to protect them. You, men, are to help them understand their great gift of motherhood.
Second, say no to competition. Now, I am not talking about playing softball. But, what I am talking about is being in competition with each other. You know from the time you were in school, when the boy you like walked into a room, you started to look to see which women were looking at him. This is the competition which will do harm to your understanding of motherhood. In today’s world, it is to try to outdo each other in birthday parties for your two year old. Someone has a clown, so you half to have Barney the dinasaur. Ok I know I just dated myself, then Dora the Explorer, or Bob the builder. Can we build it, yes, we can. And then the next thing you know you have rented a dirt-mover for your son, when your son is really more impressed with the card-board box. Its not really for him but its for the other mother’s who come. Say no to this.
Third, enjoy the present moment. Actually, this is not just for mothers but for all people. It comes from a great spiritual treatise that talks about the sacrament of the present moment. In the present moment is where God is found. He is not in the past tense nor is he in the future. The trap of the supermom is to not live in the present but to have your mind swimming with what you have to do in the future. You know that the babe that is nursing at your breast will soon become a sassy teenager in a blink of an eye. Enjoy the moment. That is where you can experience the joy that will be complete and the peace and love of Jesus that he talks about in the Gospel.
Finally, Dont worry, be happy. I think that it is part
of being mom to worry. However, theworry can be great or like a small itch. If you find yourself worrying, make acts of trust to God and offer your child to the Lord. Indeed God is the one who is control and thus you dont have to be. Also, the Blessed Mother Mary offered her Son to the Father at the temple and she models what every woman needs to do with their child. The child God has given you is not yours but has been entrusted to you for a short time. When you worry offer the worry to God and peace will come.
These four practical habits, Recognize the value of Motherhood, say no to motherly competition, enjoy the moment, and dont worry - be happy, will help you live out the great gift of motherhood that God has given you.
Then you will be woman of great love and peace. And when you are confronted with that nagging question - Are you mom enough, you will be able to say. Yes!